


burn bright, baby

by jinnieshyun (angelsouls)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Character Study, College, Extended Metaphors, Gen, Growing Up, Introspection, Personal Growth, by that i mean my great track record of bad metaphors!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26072116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsouls/pseuds/jinnieshyun
Summary: Junhui grows up, with all the clumsiness of a kid and the responsibility of an adult, trying not to get burnt by the fire within him.Written for Snapshots Challenge 1: Kidult
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13
Collections: Challenge 1: Kidult





	burn bright, baby

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a little drabble that I hope you all enjoy. I may not be quite as old as junhui is in this fic, but I imagine growing up will be a little like this—im already feeling it lol
> 
> a huge shoutout to hui for betaing <3 ty for pulling through last minute!
> 
> and finally, please leave kudos and comments if you enjoy!

Junhui turns 18 a little over a week after school lets out. The sun burns his skin with ferocity but somehow it blooms into warmth simmering in his core. It's different from the burn that seared into his skin, weighing down on him day after day with the stresses of school and the feeling of his backpack that had given him back pain after years of carrying textbooks. The burn doesn't hurt anymore.

There is something odd here—Junhui still craves the taste of the lemon ice cream he bit into on long afternoons with Minghao, still feels the same immaturity that runs through him, still wants to jump into a lake and travel the world on empty pockets. Instead, he lies in the grass outside his average suburban house and breathes deeply. He has three months before he is an adult, but he is not a child now. He is stuck in the middle with all the freedoms he had been dreaming of and little of the responsibility. He savors it, the feeling of not quite knowing. For now it is comforting, where there is no expectation of anything, but Junhui still remembers when it was a burden, the unsureness of the future and the past mingling into his impression on the world, an impression so flimsy and loose and barely seen. He can feel himself sinking into the grass, larger than life and smaller than ever. 

Junhui is alone now, the bare gray walls of his new dorm room. Not physically, no not ever. He's surrounded by friends and new family but for once he's moving on from the old. Maybe emotionally now but not that, not ever, not when his mother calls him every evening and fusses over what he has been eating and offers to send food despite his already expensive meal plan that he takes full advantage of. He can't quite explain the feeling with a single word or even a single sentence—instead, it's little pricks of loneliness and homesickness that heal with excitement and adventure. Junhui lets himself get lost in the sea of people that surround him but still stands out in the local volunteer dance team and his small friend group of liberal arts students. He laughs and cries and gets drunk and overlooked. He's rejected by the guys he asks out and rejects some of those that ask him. He goes on fun dates and failed dates, and breaks up with some and makes up with some and—

He doesn't know if he has grown up or grown down, equal parts exhilarated and empty, simmering with a warmth that sometimes burns. Life goes on in the way it does, all ups and downs and flat plateaus, tossing Junhui around like a toy, a plaything in the clutches of fate. He doesn't know what graduation is: a peak, a dip, or an even path into the next stage of his life. 

He's matured, growing into the frame of his body with a confidence that he's never felt before, a radiance to him that has never existed. He may be standing by himself on a stage, walking by himself on a winding path, living by himself with no restrictions or expectations for once, but he isn’t scared or apprehensive. Instead, he takes a step forward with all of the memories and experiences he has acquired and smiles. His family cheers and his friends scream and shout for  _ his _ accomplishment,  _ his _ journey that will never be solitary yet solely his own, a road with intersections and branches that weave in and out of other people’s stories.

For now he burns, filling up with light and heat and energy, brighter than he ever has before.


End file.
